I have somewhat of an obsession with Chuck Norris facts. Tonight before taking on this mighty Google quest, I did a search for Chuck. The first page that came up was this Wikipedia page for Chuck Norris facts. I clicked and was really mad to see there were only a few of the facts listed on the page. Yes, I do live in reality and know these "facts" are not true. But why not include more of the facts on the page? Instead of trying to improve the Wikipedia entry, I will just add some to my blog entry. Wikipedia has plenty of people that can change their page and I have better ways to spend my time. Like doing some housework and going into Lupron-induced tirades. Here commences the fun.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Considered yourself enlightened by the knowledge of the power of Chuck Norris and pray that he lets you live another day.