Am I Ready?

To be pregnant? I had an HSG this week with hopes of no blocked fallopian tubes. I did have one blocked tube but it is on my side that my ovary was removed so this is good. My other tube is open and ready for business. According to the doctor, my next couple of months are important.  I always said I didn't want diva-child to be an only child. Starting over when diva-child is so independent is really making me question this decision. We are taking it day by day and will deal with a baby if higher powers sees fit.

I have been going through lots of changes recently, external and internal. I started taking spin classes over a month ago and I believe this is improving my physical and mental health. I am starting to see things differently. I am questioning things I never have and feelings I have closeted in the past are coming to light. I may not be the best blog writer, the best mother, the most artistic, but I AM ME. Accepting this is hard but accepting it and not working to change what you can is a tragedy.

I had a pretty awesome weekend. Friday evening spin class was cancelled so I used the time to attend a friend's Scentsy party. Saturday, I did some cleaning and went to the drive-in for the first time. Steven and I double dated with my friend Cathy and her hubby. Today, I had margaritas with another friend and we had great conversation. Overall, great couple of days.

I hope everyone has a great week and I'll be blogging something tomorrow if I get up the nerve.

Intimidation

Do you ever tell yourself you aren't good enough? That nothing you do will ever be right? I feel this way more than I care to admit, especially when it comes to new situations. My best friend recently described me as outgoing and that really surprised me. I never would consider myself in that way.

What does any of this stuff have to do with intimidation? I felt intimidated tonight for probably no reason at all. This was brought on by looking at a website. Yes, a website. I think most people are familiar with the show "Extreme Home Makeover". The show is coming to my town to build a home. This is something I would love to volunteer for. I was looking at the design needs list and volunteer application when I could feel the self-doubt building up in my system. I have performance anxiety over something I haven't even signed up for, the uneasy feeling telling me I wouldn't be good enough at anything to be of help. Does this sound like someone outgoing?

I have been a fan of Ty Pennington since he was on "Trading Spaces" what seemed like ages ago. Maybe before the weekend is done, I might actually get the nerve to complete a volunteer application for the show, not just stare at it. The thought of possibly being near Ty may help.